SEC Check (Anon's Answers)

HUBBARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE
Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex
HCO BULLETIN OF 19 JUNE 1961

SEC CHECK WHOLE TRACK
(HCO WW-Sec Form 4)



For processing use only. Use only about midway on Routine 3 and from then on.
(These questions HAVE been contributed by Jan and Dick Halpern.)

L. RON HUBBARD®
FOUNDER



WHOLE TRACK SEC CHECK
HCO WW Sec Form 4

1. HAVE YOU EVER ENSLAVED A POPULATION?
In Civilization IV yeup
2. HAVE YOU EVER IMPLANTED ANYONE?
A, Yes, but she was on the pill
B, Nope, but I did see that "Species" movie
3. HAVE YOU EVER SACKED A CITY?
A, couldn't find the sack, so I sacked the people
B, Isn't it called a raid? Yes, I do so to acquire MOAR VESPENE GAS!!
4. HAVE YOU EVER SUNK OR OTHERWISE DESTROYED A NONCOMBATANT VESSEL?
In Homeworld 2 I destroyed a Resource collector once.
5. HAVE YOU EVER ABUSED HOSTAGES OR PRISONERS?
I always teabag on Halo!
6. HAVE YOU EVER ORDERED OR YOURSELF COMMITTED GENOCIDE?
A, Only the once, and the Daleks had it coming!
B, Its how you win an RPG duh
7. HAVE YOU EVER ANNIHILATED A POPULATION?
Ever Play DEFCON?
8. HAVE YOU EVER POISONED FOOD OR DRINKING SUPPLIES?
No, but I steal them!
9. HAVE YOU EVER STRANGLED ANYONE?
A, It was just rough sex, Honest!
B, I do it all the time on Tekken
10. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY SPREAD DISEASE?
A, Dude, I cough, everyone does
B, Do STDs count?
11. HAVE YOU EVER DEGRADED A RELIGION?
A, You boys seem to be better at that than me... I'll leave it to the professionals.
B, I go for broke and go agnostic
12. HAVE YOU EVER RAPED A CHILD OF EITHER SEX?
A, Well, we're from /b/ so we ruin people's childhoods mentally, not physically
B,The childhood mind, yes
13. HAVE YOU EVER WARPED AN EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM?
A, Isn't it warped already?
B, LOL WUT?
14. HAVE YOU EVER DEPRIVED PEOPLE OF HOPE?
Card Crusher Maneuver
15. HAVE YOU COMMITTED MURDER?
A, It was self defense
B, It was OJ I swear!
16. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED A CULTURE?
I have created and destroyed, and culture always evolves
17. HAVE YOU EVER FORCED ANYONE INTO AN UNDESIRED BEINGNESS?
Like that show "Wife Swap"?
18. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN A BODY FROM ANOTHER BEING?
A,They're Called Skins, I can choose many kinds of them
B, He said he was done with it...
19. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED AN ECONOMY?
I've interrupted the flow of VESPENE GAS!
20. IS ANYBODY SEEKING TO DISCOVER YOUR WHEREABOUTS?
A, My motion tracker is clear
B, SHHHH! They'll hear you!
21. HAVE YOU EVER VIOLATED A NATION'S NEUTRALITY?
You ever play "Risk"?
22. HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A TREATY?
Same as Above
23. HAVE YOU EVER BLANKETED BODIES FOR THE SENSATION KICK?
A, Kick is a sensation?
B, tuck people in? Dude, I always say good night
24. HAVE YOU EVER UPSET AN ECOLOGY?
I had a Venus flytrap once. It made a flower. DId I break it?
25. HAVE YOU PERSECUTED OTHERS FOR THEIR RELIGIOUS OR POLITICAL BELIEFS?
Well, Hasn't everyone laughed about something?
26. HAVE YOU EVER INTERFERED WITH THE FREE FLOW OF TRADE?
Didn't I tell you about VESPENE GAS?
27. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A CROOK?
I am not a Crook! :3
28. HAVE YOU EVER OBLITERATED A LANGUAGE?
A,DESU~
B, OMGWTF, DUZ THIS MEEN? LULZ!
C, Have you ever read Orwell's 1984?
29. HAVE YOU EVER STAMPED OUT A RELIGION?
Getting There!
30. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY TRAINED PEOPLE IN UNTRUTHS FOR POWER OR PROFIT?
A,Untruths isn't a word... unless you're speaking Newspeak... Big Brother is watching...
B, 31. ???? 32. PROFIT!!
31. HAVE YOU EVER DEFILED RELIGIOUS PLACES, PERSONS OR OBJECTS?
A, I didn't know what else to do with the basin of holy water... I thought it was a urinal! It wasn't my fault!
B, I hang a cross on my car keys
32. HAVE YOU PRACTICED TERRORISM?
A, Of course, how do you expect to ever get good if you don't practice?
B, BOO!
33. HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT LIKE TO THINK OF YOURSELF AS HAVING DONE?
A, I regret nothing!
B, *shudder* don't even GO there
34. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A COWARD?
"Stonewall" Jackson is my grandfather
35. HAVE YOU EVER TRAPPED A THETAN?
A, Have you ever picked up a thetan?
B, I keep them in my shed
36. HAVE YOU EVER PRIDED YOURSELF ON YOUR WICKEDNESS?
Dude! That's Wicked Sweet
37. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED ARTISTIC PRODUCTIONS OR CREATIONS?
I deleted my favorite piece of porn once
38. HAVE YOU BURNED LITERATURE?
A, No, people need to spread the joy of the horrors I have witnessed!
B, No, I don't include Dianetics as literature
39. HAVE YOU EVER FORBIDDEN PEOPLE TO PRACTICE THEIR OWN CUSTOMS?
Mods? In my games? Its more likely than you think!
40. HAVE YOU EVER PERVERTED A PEOPLE'S CUSTOMS?
A, DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~ DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~ DESU~
B, I invented the Macarena. But you all brought the Soulja Boy on yourselves. You should all be ashamed.
C, Well this one time, I was going through customs in Holland and... oh you mean THOSE customs...
41. HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING WHICH YOU HOPED WOULD BE WIPED OUT BY THE PASSAGE OF TIME?
A, I need a DeLorean for that.
B, Only fools are enslaved by time and space
42. DO YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED INTO ETERNITY FOR SOMETHING YOU'VE DONE? IF SO, WHAT IS IT?
A, That I didn't tap that girls ass.
B, Causing people to watch "the profit"
43. HAVE YOU EVER EXPOSED INFANTS?
I hate changing diapers
44. HAVE YOU BRED BODIES FOR DEGRADING PURPOSES?
A, well ther was this one biology project in science class...
B, I Made Jesus Yamato
45. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY IF YOU HAD HAD MORE DATA?
I wish I had Data, he is always running off
46. HAVE YOU EVER FORCED BEINGS INTO UNWANTED BODIES?
A, I plea the 5th
B, ITS ALIVE!
47. HAVE YOU DELIBERATELY PREVENTED BEINGS FROM EXTERIORIZING?
With Alcohol and Glycol
48. HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING TO A PERSON, GROUP OR THING THAT WASN'T DESERVED?
Card Crusher once again
49. HAVE YOU EVER DESERTED A JUST CAUSE?
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
50. HAVE YOU EVER DEBASED A NATION'S CURRENCY?
A, I'll assume "defaced"... And yes, check out youfoundthecash.com
B, I turned a penny to gold in science class once
51. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY TORTURED SOMEONE?
A, as opposed to accidentally torturing someone?
B, 99 bottles of beer on the wall.....
52. HAVE YOU EVER ENSLAVED ANOTHER BEING?
Yes... Master...
53. HAVE YOU EVER GAINED OR MAINTAINED A POSITION BY PORTRAY-
Candlejacked!
54. ING YOURSELF AS VICTIMIZED?
wait a minute, hasn't the CoS done this just recently concerning Anonymous?
55. HAVE YOU EVER UNDERMINED A PEOPLE'S TRUST?
Trust No One
56. HAVE YOU DRIVEN ANYONE INSANE?
A, Hey, Hey, Hey, Watch out, Listen, Hey, Look Out!, Would you like to hear what I said again?
B, This is the song that never ends!~
C, Never gonna give you up...
57. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PROFESSIONAL PROSTITUTE?
Do you know any?
58. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A CRIMINAL?
A, I stole an ancient relic once
B, I'll leave that one to DM
59. HAVE YOU EVER TRAINED PEOPLE FOR CRIMINAL PURPOSES?
Wut?
60. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PERVERT?
A, Yes, I'm from the internet... and why is that in past tense?
B, Aren't we all?
61. HAVE YOU EVER RECRUITED ANYONE FOR AN UNWORTHY PURPOSE?
I don't work under Cheney
62. HAVE YOU EVER TRADED IN OTHERS' BODIES FOR PROFIT OR POWER?
A, Woah, Woah, slow down... people will PAY for dead bodies? Where do I sign up?
B, I traded a GI Joe for a Barbie doll once
63. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN A MOCK-UP OR FACSIMILE?
An Idol?
64. HAVE YOU EVER USURPED A LOCATION?
*Burp*
65. HAVE YOU EVER MADE THINGS SCARCE SO THAT YOU MIGHT PROFIT UNFAIRLY?
A, YES YOU MAY HAVE THAT BACON
B, It's called market Manipulation. Great for Primals and Motes.
C, Who do you think I am? OPEC?
66. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A PRACTICE OF CREATING EMERGENCIES?
WAAAAAAAMBULANCE
67. HAVE YOU EVER PRACTICED HUMAN SACRIFICE?
Too messy
68. HAVE YOU EVER ASSUMED A BEINGNESS WHICH WAS NOT RIGHTFULLY YOURS?
It wasn't me!
69. HAVE YOU EVER KILLED THE WRONG PERSON?
A, Never... I never make mistakes
B, I think there was a twin brother once...
C, lol question 69
70. HAVE YOU EVER PUNISHED AN INNOCENT PERSON?
I didn't do SM
71. IS ANYBODY LOOKING FOR YOU?
A, Who?
B, Wait... haven't we already done this one?
72. HAVE YOU EVER SYSTEMATICALLY DEGRADED AN INDIVIDUAL OR POPULATION OR MOCK-UP?
SYSTEMATICALLY DISMANTLE IN ITS PRESENT FORM
73. HAVE YOU EVER UNLAWFULLY OR UNETHICALLY DESERTED A POST?
USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST
74. HAVE YOU BETRAYED SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WHICH DESERVED YOUR HELP?
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?
75. HAVE YOU EVER SET A POOR EXAMPLE?
Do as I say, not as I do.
76. HAVE YOU EVER PERVERTED THE INSTITUTIONS OF A CULTURE FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL POWER OR PROFIT?
DESU~
77. HAVE YOU EVER DENIED YOURSELF?
I like chocolate
78. HAVE YOU EVER BETRAYED YOURSELF?
Double Jeopardy?
79. DID YOU COME TO EARTH FOR EVIL PURPOSES?
A, I come in peace
B, that's a pretty obvious question... LURK MOAR
C, No, but I overstayed my visa for evil purposes
80. HAVE YOU EVER ACTED CONTRARY TO YOUR OWN PRINCIPLES?
I Dunno
81. HAVE YOU EVER FAILED A FRIEND?
"Never gonna give you up!.....
82. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO RENDER OTHERS DEPENDENT ON YOU?
SPICE MUST FLOW
83. HAVE YOU EVER ABUSED THOSE UNDER YOUR PROTECTION?
Take out the hostage so the terrorist can't win
84. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED FARMLAND, CROPS OR BREEDING STOCK?
I've Killed all that with fire
85. HAVE YOU EVER DESPOILED A PLANET OF ITS NATURAL RESOURCES?
I drive a car
86. ARE YOU IN HIDING?
A, Damn It, You found me!
B, I HAVE CAMOUFLAGE
87. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A PLANET OR NATION RADIOACTIVE?
A, Isn't that kinda hard?
B, *Track 30 of Lulz; A corruption of LOL starts playing* um... disregard that one...
C, I'm a slave to big red buttons
88. HAVE YOU EVER WRECKED A CLIMATE?
A, well, if you've been watching the news, we're all contributing
B, I'M FUCKING EXHALING CO2 HERE!
89. HAVE YOU EVER SYSTEMATICALLY SET UP MYSTERIES?
Yes, but those damn kids and their dog always ruin it for me.
90. HAVE YOU EVER MADE NOTHING OF YOURSELF?
I divided by ZERO
91. HAVE YOU MADE,A PROFESSION.OF DESTRUCTION?
I HAVE SEEN THE END AND NO ONE WAS SPARED. NOT EVEN THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN
92. HAVE YOU EVER ENTURBULATED AN ORDERLY ENVIRONMENT?
Boyles Law?
93. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A TRAITOR?
To who?
94. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY LOWERED ANOTHER'S KNOWINGNESS OR ABILITY?
YOU KNOW TOO MUCH
95. HAVE YOU EVER MAIMED AND CRIPPLED OTHER PEOPLE'S BODIES?
I PLAY TEKKEN
96. HAVE YOU EVER PRETENDED TO A POWER YOU DID NOT POSSESS?
A, No, I'm not OT VIII yet
B, I can't fly
97. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN SHIPS, DRAFT, VESSELS OR VEHICLES BELONGING TO A GOVERNMENT?
A, I do on EVE
B, and on GTA when I can find them
98. HAVE YOU EVER DISAPPEARED?
A, I"M FUCKING HARRY HOUDINI!
B, If I could disappear, do you think I'd be doing this test?
99. HAVE YOU EVER KILLED YOUR OWN BODY?
A, Every day
B, As I speak
C, *plays ANY Linkin Park song*
100. HAVE YOU EVER PRETENDED TO A KNOWINGNESS YOU DID NOT POSSESS?
My Nonsense is free
101. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED A PLANET TO DISAPPEAR?
A, well, due to conservation of matter/energy, nothing can disappear... ever
B, THAT'S NO MOON!
102. HAVE YOU EVER FELT THE ENDS JUSTIFIED THE MEANS?
A, Depends on the ends... and the means... what kind of test IS this anyway?
B, Just as planned
103. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN CAUSE A BAD NAME?
Do you mean Co$?
104. HAVE YOU EVER DISCREDITED THE CREATIONS OF OTHERS?
Your Logic Is Refutable. I have the Support of My Colleagues
105. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OFF POST AT A TIME WHEN YOU WERE DESPERATELY NEEDED?
I always hold my mail when on holiday
106. HAVE YOU EVER CONVINCED ANOTHER THAT HE HAS MOCKED UP AN UNCONFRONTABILITY?
Time Paradox!
107. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY MOCKED UP AN UNCONFRONTABILITY?
A, When a thetan is moved unwillingly from a point or position, he even then refuses to give up that point, but MOCKS IT UP. He also mocks up the events of his departure as a part of the action of mocking up the point he is leaving. This, unwittingly, gives him a picture, an engram. -LRH OTVIII
B, The Cake Is A Lie

108. HAVE YOU MADE A PRACTICE OF CONFUSING PEOPLE?
A, Again with the past tense. Gods you people are stupid.
B, Have YOU?
C, It comes with Aspergers
109. HAVE YOU PERVERTED HISTORICAL TRUTHS FOR ANY REASON?
A, I don't pervert them, I rewrite them!
B, Not since I was Emperor of Germany... those were the days
C, Hitler Had parkinsons (its actually true)
110. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY SENT SOMEONE TO THE WRONG PLACE, OR THE WRONG PERSON?
LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!
111. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PROFESSIONAL SPY OR INTELLIGENCE AGENT?
A, well you're missing the whole point... this place needs more intelligence
B, They've given me a number
But they've taken 'way my name
112. HAVE YOU MADE A PRACTICE OF WORRYING PEOPLE?
IT'S CALLED STRESS!
113. HAVE YOU CONSISTENTLY PRACTICED SEX IN SOME UNNATURAL FASHION?
A, It's not my fault they forgot the safe-word.
B, I can't describe it, but you'll know once you see it
114. HAVE YOU EVER DEMONSTRATED THAT CONTROL IS IMPOSSIBLE?
I LOVE CRUISE CONTROL!
115. HAVE YOU EVER WRECKED A VEHICLE OR VESSEL?
Yeah, and I'm glad I switched to State Farm, President Palmer sure gives nice discounts and accident forgiveness!
116. HAVE YOU EVER PRETENDED TO RE DEAD?
A, Yes, but the Andersons always overstay their welcome.
B, I'LL BE BAAAAAK
117. WHAT QUESTION SHOULD BE ON THIS CHECK FOR OTHERS?
A, ok... How long is Longcat? (leave lots of space for the answer)
B, WHAT IS DIVISIBLE BY ZERO?
118. HAVE YOU EVER CONVINCED ANOTHER OF THE INJUSTICE OF HIS CAUSE?
OBJECTION!!
119. HAVE YOU EVER PHILOSOPHIZED WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE ACTED INSTEAD?
HIS WORDS ARE WISE. HIS FACE IS BEARD.
120. HAVE YOU EVER CLAIMED IT HARMED YOU TO DO SOMETHING?
A, Well I was fapping it for a WHOLE WEEK. That's not a "claim" that it hurt, it's a fact!
B, Its my party, and I can cry if I want to
121. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY DISFIGURED ANOTHER'S BODY?
A, Yes, but it's not a big deal. Some people just like candle wax a nipple razors.
B, I make Garage kits, I just don't like stock models.
122. HAVE YOU EVER TORN OUT SOMEONE'S TONGUE?
A, No, of course not! We have machines for that sort of thing.
B, All the time in IRAN!
123. HAVE YOU EVER BLINDED ANYONE?
A, I didn't know that linked to goatse, I swear!
B, THE GOGGLES! ZHEY DO NOTHING!
124. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED ANOTHER'S HEARING?
A, Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you dooooown
B, http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...37045703&hl=en
125. HAVE YOU EVER KNOCKED SOMEONE'S TEETH OUT?
A, It's not like they can give a gummer if their teeth are still in.
B, Tongue Studs do that.
126. HAVE YOU EVER PUNISHED ANOTHER BY CUTTING OFF SOME PART OF HIS BODY?
A, Cutting off? no. Forcing them to change genders? yes.
B, Yeah, They needed to shave their head. A bet is a bet.
127. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PARASITE?
A, I'm in your intestinez, eatin' your foodz
B, OM NOM NOM NOM NOM
128. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SWORN OFF BEING?
A, I wasn't a furry dammit! I didn't KNOW that was a squirrel costume!
B, A Pirate Ninja
129. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SWORN OFF DOING?
A, Sexxing up Tom Selleck. He is just to much man for anyone to handle safely
B, Not drinking enough Coca-Cola! (100% more thetans and enturbulating fizzyness)
130. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SWORN OFF HAVING?
A, AIDS. I won't be having the AIDS.
B, I swear its for the pain, the weeds legit, wanna see my card?
131. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN A DEGRADED OR DEBASED EXAMPLE OF DIVINITY?
A, shemale Jesus. Lulz.
B, Nothing is Sacred
132. HAVE YOU EVER PERVERTED A COMMUNICATION SYSTEM?
A, You can't pervert that which is already perverted. It would be like killing something that's already dead. The internet had all this loli and furry porn LONG before I was ever here.
B, HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN? ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
133. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PROFESSIONAL CRITIC?
Mark Bunker is my idol
134. HAVE YOU EVER HELD OTHERS IN PAWN FOR PROFIT?
Well, he needed 20 bucks for cake, I still have yet to see that cake
135. HAVE YOU EVER PRESUMED ON THE NATURAL GOODNESS OF ANOTHER?
Nyoron~!
136. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED ANOTHER TO MISTRUST YOU?
I will never run around and desert you!
137. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A BURDEN OF YOURSELF?
Yeah, its called riding a taxi
138. HAVE YOU EVER GONE CRAZY?
A, You seem to be using the past tense again.
B, Oh absolutely
C, Do You expect me to talk?
139. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO PERSUADE ANOTHER OF YOUR INSANITY?
A, I don't have to do any persuading.
B, So if I AM crazy and I answer no to the previous question I get to answer no to this? But if I'm telling the truth and I'm crazy then this MUST be a yes.
C, No Mr. Bond, I expect you to DIE!
140. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY MUTILATED BODIES?
I had to sew a button back on to my teddy bears eye
141. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY MUTILATED OBJECTS?
A, That plastic fern had it coming.
B, I'M A FUCKING BULL IN A CHINA SHOP!
142. HAVE YOU HEIGHTENED SEXUAL SENSATION BY INFLICTING PAIN?
A, Google tip: Pain Series
B, IT GOES WHERE?
143. HAVE YOU EVER, CAUSED SOMETHING TO APPEAR AT AN UNEXPECTED TIME?
A, Note: never take viagra before a funeral.
B, Oh look, A Feather!
144. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED SOMETHING TO APPEAR IN AN UNEXPECTED PLACE?
A, How would I know?
B, NOW you're thinking with portals!
145. HAVE YOU EVER MALTREATED A PREGNANT WOMAN OR PREGNANT ANIMAL?
I EAT BABIES
146. HAVE YOU EVER CORRUPTED A CHILD?
A, Again, we're from the internet, we make a point of it
B, It happens all the time
147. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO CONVINCE OTHERS OF THEIR GUILT?
I just listen, I'm not a priest at confession
148. HAVE YOU EVER STARTED A WAR?
A, "Oh, 'Global Thermonuclear War?' That sounds like a fun game!" Knew I should have played chess.
B, I have caused many a shitstorm
149. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED YOUR OWN SIDE TO LOSE?
YOU LOSE THE GAME
150. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY DISTORTED OTHERS' IDEAS?
A, Is that a rhetorical question?

(rest continued on next post)

Okay, long list... the guy I got the document from had answered a lot of the questions already, but a fresh start would be good.

I'll update this and make it my personal project until we're mostly bored or done with it.

(I have no idea what SEC is, might have something to do with weather your thetan was evil in a past life)

I also have no idea about at what level of OT or clear you get this document,

or for that matter if we're allowed to post it. (however it contains no big secrets so I'm fairly sure they won't waste more resources on it)

151. HAVE YOU EVER MANIPULATED BEINGS AS THOUGH THEY WERE MEST?
I Has a BUKET
152. HAVE YOU EVER DESERTED OR BETRAYED A GREAT LEADER?
A, Starscream, you have failed me for the last time!
B, AAAAAAH!!! MOTHERLAND!
153. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO CONVINCE BEINGS THAT THEY WERE MEST?
A, isn't everything and anything either matter or energy, taking up space and travelling through time? I'll give you 50 bucks if you can give me anything that doesn't adhere to physics.
B, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UfsEj7AOGI
154. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO PERSUADE OTHERS THERE WERE THOUGHTS THEY MUSTN'T THINK?
A, SP! ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT
B, XENU... MARCAB CONFEDERACY... Pneumonia activaing in 3, 2,1,...
155. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO PUT ANOTHER'S THINKINGNESS OUT OF HIS CONTROL?
C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!
156. HAVE YOU EVER PERMITTED A SUBORDINATE OF YOURS TO BE PUNISHED FOR YOUR MISTAKES?
People take heat all the time
157. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO SHIFT BLAME ONE A SUPERIOR OF YOURS?
Its called Bitching, again
158. HAVE YOU EVER SMOTHERED A BABY?
With Love
159. HAVE YOU EVER INFLICTED PHYSICAL PAIN ON AN INSANE PERSON FOR ANY REASON?
A, they were trying to steal my keys
B, I think they have that covered on their own
160. HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN PRIDE IN AND CULTIVATED A WRONGNESS?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
161. HAVE YOU EVER WORSHIPED WRONGNESS IN OTHERS?
LULZ Lurk Moar
162. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO MAKE OTHERS UNWILLING TO PRODUCE?
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!
163. HAVE YOU EVER WIPED OUT A FAMILY?
I killed a spider once, it was part of the arachnid family.
164. HAVE YOU EVER REWARDED ANOTHER OR A GROUP FOR A WRONGNESS?
Yes, its called a mercenary or a hitman
165. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH AN ANIMAL OR BIRD?
A, (WTF? A bird!!??!!!?! How.... Never mind, I don't want to know)
B, I'm not into the furry thing, but there are times...
C, SERIOUSLY WTF? Birds lay eggs.
166. HAVE YOU EVER PARTICIPATED IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A DOLL BODY AND A HUMAN BODY?
A, Is this question suggesting a threesome?
B, It wasn't a doll, It was an action figure!
C, I Liek MudKipz
167. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED A DOLL BODY?
A, No, but I have this friend, and she did this experiment in school on how fast it takes a barbie to burn...
B, I LOVE MUDKIPZ!
168. HAVE YOU EVER LOST A DOLL BODY ENTRUSTED TO YOU?
A, Hell No! Do you have any idea how much a dollfie costs to replace?
B, I lost my teddy bear at disney land
169. HAVE YOU EVER PUNISHED ANOTHER OR GROUP FOR A RIGHTNESS?
SAGE
170. HAVE YOU EVER PERMITTED ANOTHER TO BE PUNISHED FOR YOUR MISDEED?
I take one for the team!
171. HAVE YOU EVER PERPETUATED AN INJUSTICE?
A, I think you should be asking yourself that.
B, Perpetual motion is real
172. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BRUTAL TO ANIMALS?
A, Gods, you were watching me at that cat breeder, weren't you? I swear I just wanted to get to level 13 sword skill...
B, >:3OH SHI~! ITS A LION GET IN THE CAR!
173. HAVE YOU EVER DENIED OTHERS A MEANS OF EXISTENCE?
A, I killed an ant...
B, The internet is my dump truck
174. HAVE YOU EVER DESERTED YOUR OWN CHILDREN?
A, Yes, I leave millions of them in my bedsheets on a regular basis.
B, I left my doll in the closet...
C, They have GPS locators, so that is a moot point
175. HAVE YOU EVER REFUSED TO SUPPORT YOUR PARENTS OR GRANDPARENTS?
Grandpa....
176. HAVE YOU EVER DENIED OTHERS A REDRESSMENT OF GRIEVANCES?
Life Goes on
177. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED ANOTHER TO DISTRUST HIMSELF?
A, Hehe, no, but I think the phrase "It's a trap" sums up that one pretty well.
B, Its called doubt
178. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED ANOTHER TO IDENTIFY HIMSELF WITH A FORM IN ORDER TO ENSLAVE HIM?
You are a virus
179. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN ANYONE THE THIRD DEGREE?
A, Burns? Oh, certainly!
B, Yeah, it was the 3rd degree on my right hand.
C, I dunno, no one tells me
180. HAVE YOU EVER VALIDATED THE INSANITY OF ANOTHER BEING OR GROUP?
A, Of course. At least we have that much in common.
B, Nazi's are nutters, but at least they dressed sharp
181. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO GIVE SANITY A BAD NAME?
A, I do what I can.
B, It's all relative
182. HAVE YOU EVER WARPED OR DISTORTED BODIES FOR SEXUAL PURPOSES?
A, as in... like... guro? eew.
B, Its called a fetish
183. HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO DISOWN A DEED OF YOURS?
I can say no more
184. DO YOU DESERVE TO HAVE ANY FRIENDS?
The more, the merrier!
185. HAVE YOU EVER CASTRATED ANYONE?
A, if you're familiar with the phrase, "it's a trap" then you'll know that anonymous has the point of doing exactly the opposite
B, It's the only way to make an all boys choir
186. HAVE YOU EVER WRONGFULLY CLAIMED ANOTHER'S DEED AS YOUR OWN?
That's something to ask Dilbert's Boss
187. HAVE YOU EVER ROBBED A DEAD BODY?
A, That wasn't robbing, it was looting. I love my Epic sword, yes i do...
B, He was DEAD! What was he going to do with a rolex?
C, No, all the good stuff is usually gone
188. HAVE YOU EVER MADE LOVE TO A DEAD BODY?
A, well, this one time... at band camp...
B, It was still warm
189. DO YOU DESERVE TO RE FREE?
I Want to Break Free!
190. DO YOU DESERVE TO BE ENSLAVED?
A, I do the whipping, not the other way around.
B, Yes Master
191. IS THERE ANY QUESTION ON THIS CHECK I HAD BETTER NOT ASK YOU AGAIN?
A, With this many questions I think I'll kill you if you ask ANY of them again.
B, Anything with that shitty grammar godamitnessnessnessest
192. HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED ANOTHER DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE SANE?
I don't grant those rights
193. HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED ANOTHER DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE FREE?
FREEBIRD!
194. HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED,ANOTHER DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE WELL?
Dude, I always want to be well off
195. HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED ANOTHER DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE ALIVE?
An Hero please
196. HAVE YOU EVER MADE MEST GUILTY OF HARMING YOU?
A, I didn't know physics had feelings
B, GODAMIT MEST!
197. HAVE YOU EVER MADE ANOTHER GUILTY OF DOING YOU PERMANENT HARM?
Stupid Ginzu knife
198. HAVE YOU EVER FORCED ANOTHER TO COMPETE?
A, Then, when you have found the shubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... A HERRING!
B, Life is a rat race
199. HAVE YOU EVER PRETENDED TO BE UNABLE TO REPAIR A FORM?
I consult my manual
200. HAVE YOU EVER REFUSED TO PUT BACK INTO ORDER A DISORDER YOU CREATED?
Depends if it doesn't look natural
201. HAVE YOU EVER SHOT OR STABBED SOMEONE IN THE BACK?
202. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DISLOYAL?
203. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TREACHEROUS?
204. HAVE YOU EVER ENGAGED IN PIRACY?
see track 8 of Lulz; a corruption of LOL
205. HAVE YOU EVER MADE AN OUTRAGEOUS OR PREPOSTEROUS WILL?
I'm sure the starving children of africa will LOVE my elvis suit.
206. HAVE YOU EVER THROWN THE OWNERSHIP OF PROPERTY INTO DOUBT?
207. HAVE YOU EVER DEMONSTRATED THAT COMMUNICATlON IS IMPOSSIBLE?
208. HAVE YOU EVER WITHHELD USEFUL DATA?
209. HAVE YOU EVER CREATED CHAOS?
well, if you think of chaos as the lack of order, you can't create it. you can only remove order... it's like creating cold, or a hole... can't be done.
210. HAVE YOU EVER CONSISTENTLY MADE A PRACTICE OF FURNISHING USELESS DATA?
211. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO MAKE THE PHYSICAL UNIVERSE LESS REAL?
yes, and unlike you meager clams, I succeeded.
212. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED ANOTHER TO MISTRUST HIS JUDGMENT?
213. HAVE YOU EVER CONVINCED ANOTHER HE WAS GUILTY OF A CRIME OR MISDEED WHICH HE HAD NOT IN FACT COMMITTED?
214. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO CONVINCE ANOTHER THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM?
215. HAVE YOU EVER PRACTICED MEDICINE UNETHICALLY?
Nope, I never became an auditor
216. HAVE YOU EVER PRACTICED LAW OR JURISPRUDENCE UNETHICALLY?
217. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO CONVINCE ANOTHER THAT EVERYTHING WAS THE SAME AS EVERYTHING ELSE, SO IT DIDN'T MATTER WHAT HE DID?
218. HAVE YOU EVER SPREAD DESPAIR?
A, No, I spread "I can't believe it's not despair".
B, I'd like to think I'm spreading some as we speak.......
219. HAVE YOU EVER KEPT EFFECTIVE SOLUTIONS FROM WORKING?
220. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO CONVINCE ANOTHER THAT THERE WAS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG?
221. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PIMP?
oh.. that brings me back...
222. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN FAMILIES A BAD NAME?
Most families do a good enough job of giving families a bad name, they don't need my help.
223. HAVE YOU EVER PRODUCED A CRIMINAL?
224. HAVE YOU EVER ASSISTED AN EVIL DOER?
225. HAVE YOU EVER DRIVEN A POPULATION INTO CRIMINALITY?
Yep! Sims 2 ftw!
226. HAVE YOU EVER USED CRIMINALITY AS A MEANS OF CONTROL OF A POPULATION?
227. HAVE YOU EVER MADE SANITY APPEAR TO BE PSYCHOTIC?
again, Orwell's 1984.
228. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PSYCHIATRIST?
No, but I try my hardest. Now sit back and tell me about your problems.
229. HAVE YOU EVER DEPOPULATED AN AREA?
Many times. It usually happens after I eat cheese...
230. HAVE YOU EVER DEPRIVED ANOTHER OF A LIVELIHOOD?
231. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN GOD A BAD NAME?
Again, I don't think god needs any help in getting a bad name.
232. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A CORRUPT PRIEST?
Shadow spec. See Vampiric Embrace.
233. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN SPIRITS AN EVIL REPUTATION?
I'm not responsible for their bad rap, they did it themselves.
234. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AN EVIL SPIRIT?
Only for halloween
235. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO CONVINCE OTHERS THAT THINGS WERE EVIL?
236. HAVE YOU EVER TAUGHT OTHERS THAT NOTHING CAN BE DONE?
237. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED T0 CONVINCE OTHERS THAT KNOWING IS BAD? THAT PERCEIVING IS BAD? THAT SENSATION IS BAD?
238. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY CAUSED A SANE PERSON TO BE COMMITTED TO A MENTAL INSTITUTION?
I think *someone* is projecting their misdeeds.
239. HAVE YOU EVER PERFORMED UNNECESSARY SURGERY ON SOMEONE'S BODY?
240. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO CONVINCE OTHERS THAT THINGS ARE BAD? THAT THERE ARE BAD BEINGNESSES? THAT IT IS BAD TO DO THINGS?
241. HAVE YOU EVER MOCKED ANOTHER'S ABILITY?
242. HAVE YOU EVER MOCKED ANOTHER'S KNOWINGNESS?
243. HAVE YOU EVER MOCKED ANOTHER'S CREATIVENESS?
244. HAVE YOU EVER APPLIED A HOT IRON TO ANOTHER PERSON'S BODY?
tricky.. three answers I'd say yes to and then this one... tricky... yes.
245. HAVE YOU EVER TORTURED ANOTHER WITH ELECTRICAL OR ELECTRONIC DEVICES?
246. HAVE YOU EVER ATTACKED OTHERS FOR CAUSING EFFECTS THAT YOU SECRETLY KNEW WERE BENEFICIAL OR HELPFUL?
247. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY CAUSED OTHERS TO FEEL LESS RESPONSIBLE?
248. HAVE YOU EVER BEATEN A CHILD TO DEATH?
249. HAVE YOU EVER STARVED ANYONE TO DEATH?
I tried, But my Neopet WON'T FUCKING DIE!250. HAVE YOU EVER LEFT ANYONE TO DIE OF THIRST?
Points for irony, OSA. Bra-VO.
251. HAVE YOU EVER MISESTIMATED AN EFFORT?
252. HAVE YOU EVER MISJUDGED ANOTHER?
253. HAVE YOU EVER FAILED TO SAVE SOMEONE FROM DROWNING?
254. HAVE YOU EVER KNOWINGLY SPONSORED A SWINDLE?
255. HAVE YOU EVER FAILED ANOTHER?
256. HAVE YOU EVER WASTED TIME WHEN YOU OUGHT NOT TO HAVE?
257. HAVE YOU EVER RETREATED FROM AN AREA WHERE YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED OR ADVANCED?
258. HAVE YOU EVER WASTED MEN? WOMEN? CHILDREN? OBJECTS? AN ABILITY? ANIMALS? THOUGHTS? SPACES? ENERGY?
259. HAVE YOU EVER MADE NOTHING OF A WORTHY PERSON? OF A GROUP? OF A UNIVERSE? OF A SPIRIT?
260. HAVE YOU FAILED IN ANY WAY TO LIVE UP TO YOUR OWN IDEAS OF HOW YOU SHOULD BE?
261. HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE'S BODY ON A WHEEL?
FATALITY
262. HAVE YOU EVER STRETCHED ANOTHER'S BODY ON A RACK?
This goes a little beyond the conventional boundaries of S&M
263. HAVE YOU EVER PUT A CRIMINAL IN A POSITION OF TRUST?
Don't look at me, I voted for the other guy.
264. HAVE YOU EVER SOLD PEOPLE ON THE IDEA THAT PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY WICKED?
265. HAVE YOU EVER BOILED SOMEONE'S LIVING BODY IN OIL?
266. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A HUMAN BODY?
Braaaaaaiiiinnnsssss
267. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN THE BODY OF A MEMBER OF YOUR OWN SPECIES?
wait, this is a trick question.. if my answer isn't the same as the last one, I'm not human... you don't think Xenu would fall for that would you?
268. HAVE YOU EVER DISFIGURED A BEAUTIFUL THING?
269. HAVE YOU EVER EXTERMINATED A SPECIES?
I think you're confusing me with a race of genocidal pepperpots with plumbing equipment and a problem with stairs.
270. HAVE YOU EVER LET YOUR PAST TRIUMPHS DISCOURAGE YOU ABOUT YOUR FUTURE?
271. HAVE YOU EVER FLAYED ANYONE ALIVE?
272. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PROFESSIONAL EXECUTIONER?
Hasn't anyone who's ever played those damn violent video-games?
273. HAVE YOU EVER DONE A BAD THING TO WIN APPROVAL?
274. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A DISHONEST POLICEMAN?
275. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A BRUTAL JAILER?
276. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A CORRUPT JUDGE?
277. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A BAD SOLDIER?
278. HAVE YOU EVER DONE A BAD THING TO SAVE YOURSELF?
279. HAVE YOU EVER DONE A BAD THING TO SAVE ANOTHER?
280. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AN UNGRATEFUL CHILD?
281. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A WICKED MOTHER?
282. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A BAD FATHER?
283. HAVE YOU EVER CONVINCED ANOTHER THAT HIS GOALS WERE NO GOOD?
284. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AN ABORTIONIST?
285. HAVE YOU EVER RUN A BROTHEL?
Aaaah, memories
286. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A BODY WITH A VENEREAL DISEASE? IF SO, DID YOU SPREAD IT?
Far and wide, far and wide
287. HAVE YOU EVER PRODUCED A BASTARD?
288. HAVE YOU EVER CONVINCED ANOTHER THAT HE SHOULDN'T CONFRONT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING?
289. HAVE YOU EVER FAILED TO SEND OR DELIVER A VITAL MESSAGE?
290. HAVE YOU COMMITTED RAPE?
291. HAVE YOU EMPLOYED POISON GAS AGAINST LIFE FORMS?
I KNEW I shouldn't have had that three-bean salad...
292. HAVE YOU EVER PUT UP A DISCREDITABLE CREATION?
293. HAVE YOU EVER TAUGHT THAT IT WAS BAD FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE THINGS?
294. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY INFECTED LIFE FORMS WITH DISEASE?
295. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A BODY DISAPPEAR?
I am the mindfreak. MINDFREEEEAAAAK! MINDFREEEEAAAAK! MINDFREEEEEEEeeeeaaaaaak!
296. HAVE YOU EVER CONSISTENTLY MADE A PRACTICE OF ATTACKING PEOPLE WHO HELPED YOU?
297. HAVE YOU EVER PERVERTED AN ETHIC?
298. HAVE YOU EVER CONSISTENTLY MADE A PRACTICE OF ATTACKING THOSE WHO HELPED OTHERS?
299. HAVE YOU EVER ABUSED OR TORTURED LIFE FORMS?
300. HAVE YOU EVER INFLICTED AN UNWARRANTED PUNISHMENT?
301. HAVE YOU EVER ENFORCED BREEDING?
302. HAVE YOU EVER DESECRATED BURIAL PLACES?
303. HAVE YOU EVER ATTACKED HELPLESS PERSONS?
304. HAVE YOU EVER DENIED ANYONE A DESIRED BEINGNESS?
305. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED ANOTHER BRING TO CREATE AGAINST HIS OWN WISHES OR INTERESTS?
306. HAVE YOU EVER ZAPPED ANYONE?
Shag carpet has its drawbacks. See #113
307. HAVE YOU DELIBERATELY SET PROPERTY AFIRE?
A: Is this a yes/no question, or should I give you a number?
B: Does smoking count?
C: I want my attorney!
308. HAVE YOU EVER CREATED AN EFFECT FOR WHICH THERE WAS NO APPARENT CAUSE?
309. HAVE YOU EVER INTERIORIZED A BEING INTO A MACHINE?
310. HAVE YOU EVER FORCED A BODY TO SURVIVE AGAINST ITS OWNER'S WISHES?
311. HAVE YOU EVER ARRESTED THE DEVELOPMENT OF A CULTURE?
312. IS THERE ANY PLACK YOU'D BETTER NOT RETURN TO?
313. IS THERE ANYTHING THE PEOPLE OF EARTH HAD BETTER NOT FIND OUT ABOUT YOU?
no, anonymous hasn't been too bad, but the people of Mars, well they'd be pretty irked about our misdeeds.
314. IS THERE ANY TIME YOU'D BETTER NOT RETURN TO?
315. HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING THAT HAD BETTER NOT HAPPEN AGAIN?
316. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN CREATIVENESS A BAD NAME?
317. HAVE YOU GIVEN BIOLOGICAL BODIES A BAD NAME?
318. HAVE YOU GIVEN DOLL BODIES A BAD NAME?
319. HAVE YOU GIVEN ROBOTS A BAD NAME?
I figure the Decepticons, the Cybermen and SkyNet have done far greater damage than I ever could have.
yeah, this one time... I named my robot "dickhead"
320. WHAT SHOULD OTHERS BE WARNED ABOUT CONCERNING YOU?
I have the polka fever, and it's contagious.
321. WHAT DON'T YOU TRUST YOURSELF WITH?
322. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN'T FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR?
323. IS THERE ANYTHING OTHERS SHOULD NOT FORGIVE YOU FOR?
324. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED EQUIPMENT ENTRUSTED TO YOUR CARE TO VANISH?
325. HAVE YOU EVER ACTED AS A DOUBLE AGENT?
326. HAVE YOU EVER MISAPPROPRIATED EQUIPMENT ENTRUSTED TO YOUR CARE?
327. HAVE YOU EVER INTERROGATED ANOTHER UNDER TORTURE?
328. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED ANYONE TO BE BURNED ALIVE?
They told me to cut the red wire!
329. HAVE YOU EVER MISAPPROPRIATED FUNDS ENTRUSTED TO YOUR CARE?
330. HAVE YOU EVER VIOLATED THE SANCTITY OF A HERALD?
331. HAVE YOU EVER VIOLATED A FLAG OF TRUCE OR A PERIOD OF TRUCE?
332. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED SOMEONE TO BE FLOGGED TO DEATH?
333. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A RELIGIOUS FANATIC?
Ramen
334. HAVE YOU EVER ASSASSINATED A PROMINENT PERSON?
335. HAVE YOU EVER BLOWN ANYTHING UP?
Today?
336. HAVE YOU EVER VIOLATED A SANCTUARY?
337. HAVE YOU EVER POISONED AN ATMOSPHERE?
aw come on, everyone does it... besides, elevators are like fart magnets...
338. HAVE YOU EVER SET A BOOBY TRAP?
A, Yes, but my friends and I were being chased by Mama Fratelli and her sons.
B, Heh, you said booby
339. HAVE YOU EVER VIOLATED THE ESTABLISHED RULES OF WARFARE?
Only because the admin was being a dick.
340. HAVE YOU EVER MADE YOURSELF OUT TO BE WEAKER THAN YOU IN FACT WERE?
341. HAVE YOU EVER MADE YOURSELF OUT TO BE STRONGER THAN YOU IN FACT WERE?
342. HAVE YOU EVER PROMISED HELP WITHOUT INTENDING TO GIVE IT?
Now let's not get ahead of ourselves... I've met OT8s who get allergies and can't even remember what they ate for breakfast that day
343. HAVE YOU EVER ABANDONED YOUR SICK OR DEAD TO THE ENEMY?
344. HAVE YOU EVER FAILED TO RESCUE YOUR LEADER?
Optimus... Forgive me....

L. RON HUBBARD®
FOUNDER

also reserved if the answers get too big

(I have no idea what SEC is, might have something to do with weather your thetan was evil in a past life)

"Sec Check" is Scilon shorthand for "security check".

I can't even wrap my head around how insane most of these questions are. I was making a list of the ones I liked best, but it got too long. Omg. Suffice to say, yes, I HAVE had sexual relations with a doll body, so fuck off.

WTF does this even mean?

304. HAVE YOU EVER DENIED ANYONE A DESIRED BEINGNESS?

This one is just funny.

191. IS THERE ANY QUESTION ON THIS CHECK I HAD BETTER NOT ASK YOU AGAIN?

Simple tactic. Grind someone's reasoning ability with a gargantuine number of questiosn and by the time you're near the ned you'll start checking just to make it stop as your brain isn't able to process the data coherently.

2. HAVE YOU EVER IMPLANTED ANYONE?
She that she was on the pill.

28. HAVE YOU EVER OBLITERATED A LANGUAGE?
OMGWTF, DUZ THIS MEEN? LULZ!

46. HAVE YOU EVER FORCED BEINGS INTO UNWANTED BODIES?
I plea the 5th

56. HAVE YOU DRIVEN ANYONE INSANE?
HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! .... LISTEN!

79. DID YOU COME TO EARTH FOR EVIL PURPOSES?
Depends. What do you think about the TV series "Big Brother"?

86. ARE YOU IN HIDING?
Damn it, you found me.

89. HAVE YOU EVER SYSTEMATICALLY SET UP MYSTERIES?
Yes, but those damn kids and their dog always ruin it for me.

96. HAVE YOU EVER PRETENDED TO A POWER YOU DID NOT POSSESS?
No, I'm OT VII

99. HAVE YOU EVER KILLED YOUR OWN BODY?
Every day.

113. HAVE YOU CONSISTENTLY PRACTICED SEX IN SOME UNNATURAL FASHION?
It's not my fault they forgot the safe-word.

116. HAVE YOU EVER PRETENDED TO RE DEAD?
Yes, but the Andersons always overstay their welcome.

141. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY MUTILATED OBJECTS?
That plastic fern had it coming.

165. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH AN ANIMAL OR BIRD?
(WTF? A bird!!??!!!?! How.... Never mind, I don't want to know)

181. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO GIVE SANITY A BAD NAME?
I do what I can.

238. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY CAUSED A SANE PERSON TO BE COMMITTED TO A MENTAL INSTITUTION?
I think *someone* is projecting their misdeeds.

295. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A BODY DISAPPEAR?
I am the mindfreak. MINDFREEEEAAAAK! MINDFREEEEAAAAK! MINDFREEEEEEEeeeeaaaaaak!

306. HAVE YOU EVER ZAPPED ANYONE?
Shag carpet has its drawbacks. See #113

320. WHAT SHOULD OTHERS BE WARNED ABOUT CONCERNING YOU?
I have the polka fever, and it's contagious.

333. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A RELIGIOUS FANATIC?
Ramen.

338. HAVE YOU EVER SET A BOOBY TRAP?
Yes, but my friends and I were being chased by Mama Fratelli and her sons.

339. HAVE YOU EVER VIOLATED THE ESTABLISHED RULES OF WARFARE?
Only because the admin was being a dick.

great answers!

I've posted some of mine too.
should we email this to the cos when we're done?

120. HAVE YOU EVER CLAIMED IT HARMED YOU TO DO SOMETHING?
Well I was fapping it for a WHOLE WEEK. That's not a "claim" that it hurt, it's a fact!
121. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY DISFIGURED ANOTHER'S BODY?
Yes, but it's not a big deal. Some people just like candle wax a nipple razors.
122. HAVE YOU EVER TORN OUT SOMEONE'S TONGUE?
No, of course not! We have machines for that sort of thing.[/b]
123. HAVE YOU EVER BLINDED ANYONE?
I didn't know that linked to goatse, I swear!
124. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED ANOTHER'S HEARING?
Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you dooooown
125. HAVE YOU EVER KNOCKED SOMEONE'S TEETH OUT?
It's not like they can give a gummer if their teeth are still in.
126. HAVE YOU EVER PUNISHED ANOTHER BY CUTTING OFF SOME PART OF HIS BODY?
Cutting off? no. Forcing them to change genders? yes.
127. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PARASITE?
I'm in your intestinez, eatin' your foodz
128. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SWORN OFF BEING?
I wasn't a furry dammit! I didn't KNOW that was a squirrel costume!
129. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SWORN OFF DOING?
Sexxing up Tom Selleck. He is just to much man for anyone to handle safely
130. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SWORN OFF HAVING? AIDS. I won't be having the AIDS.
131. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN A DEGRADED OR DEBASED EXAMPLE OF DIVINITY?
shemale Jesus. Lulz.
132. HAVE YOU EVER PERVERTED A COMMUNICATION SYSTEM?
You can't pervert that which is already perverted. It would be like killing something that's already dead. The internet had all this loli and furry porn LONG before I was ever here.

HAVE YOU EVER PARTICIPATED IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A DOLL BODY AND A HUMAN BODY?

it wasn't a doll it was an action figure