HUBBARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE
Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex
HCO BULLETIN OF 19 JUNE 1961
SEC CHECK WHOLE TRACK
(HCO WW-Sec Form 4)
For processing use only. Use only about midway on Routine 3 and from then on.
(These questions HAVE been contributed by Jan and Dick Halpern.)
L. RON HUBBARD®
FOUNDER
WHOLE TRACK SEC CHECK
HCO WW Sec Form 4
1. HAVE YOU EVER ENSLAVED A POPULATION?
In Civilization IV yeup
2. HAVE YOU EVER IMPLANTED ANYONE?
A, Yes, but she was on the pill
B, Nope, but I did see that "Species" movie
3. HAVE YOU EVER SACKED A CITY?
A, couldn't find the sack, so I sacked the people
B, Isn't it called a raid? Yes, I do so to acquire MOAR VESPENE GAS!!
4. HAVE YOU EVER SUNK OR OTHERWISE DESTROYED A NONCOMBATANT VESSEL?
In Homeworld 2 I destroyed a Resource collector once.
5. HAVE YOU EVER ABUSED HOSTAGES OR PRISONERS?
I always teabag on Halo!
6. HAVE YOU EVER ORDERED OR YOURSELF COMMITTED GENOCIDE?
A, Only the once, and the Daleks had it coming!
B, Its how you win an RPG duh
7. HAVE YOU EVER ANNIHILATED A POPULATION?
Ever Play DEFCON?
8. HAVE YOU EVER POISONED FOOD OR DRINKING SUPPLIES?
No, but I steal them!
9. HAVE YOU EVER STRANGLED ANYONE?
A, It was just rough sex, Honest!
B, I do it all the time on Tekken
10. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY SPREAD DISEASE?
A, Dude, I cough, everyone does
B, Do STDs count?
11. HAVE YOU EVER DEGRADED A RELIGION?
A, You boys seem to be better at that than me... I'll leave it to the professionals.
B, I go for broke and go agnostic
12. HAVE YOU EVER RAPED A CHILD OF EITHER SEX?
A, Well, we're from /b/ so we ruin people's childhoods mentally, not physically
B,The childhood mind, yes
13. HAVE YOU EVER WARPED AN EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM?
A, Isn't it warped already?
B, LOL WUT?
14. HAVE YOU EVER DEPRIVED PEOPLE OF HOPE?
Card Crusher Maneuver
15. HAVE YOU COMMITTED MURDER?
A, It was self defense
B, It was OJ I swear!
16. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED A CULTURE?
I have created and destroyed, and culture always evolves
17. HAVE YOU EVER FORCED ANYONE INTO AN UNDESIRED BEINGNESS?
Like that show "Wife Swap"?
18. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN A BODY FROM ANOTHER BEING?
A,They're Called Skins, I can choose many kinds of them
B, He said he was done with it...
19. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED AN ECONOMY?
I've interrupted the flow of VESPENE GAS!
20. IS ANYBODY SEEKING TO DISCOVER YOUR WHEREABOUTS?
A, My motion tracker is clear
B, SHHHH! They'll hear you!
21. HAVE YOU EVER VIOLATED A NATION'S NEUTRALITY?
You ever play "Risk"?
22. HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A TREATY?
Same as Above
23. HAVE YOU EVER BLANKETED BODIES FOR THE SENSATION KICK?
A, Kick is a sensation?
B, tuck people in? Dude, I always say good night
24. HAVE YOU EVER UPSET AN ECOLOGY?
I had a Venus flytrap once. It made a flower. DId I break it?
25. HAVE YOU PERSECUTED OTHERS FOR THEIR RELIGIOUS OR POLITICAL BELIEFS?
Well, Hasn't everyone laughed about something?
26. HAVE YOU EVER INTERFERED WITH THE FREE FLOW OF TRADE?
Didn't I tell you about VESPENE GAS?
27. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A CROOK?
I am not a Crook! :3
28. HAVE YOU EVER OBLITERATED A LANGUAGE?
A,DESU~
B, OMGWTF, DUZ THIS MEEN? LULZ!
C, Have you ever read Orwell's 1984?
29. HAVE YOU EVER STAMPED OUT A RELIGION?
Getting There!
30. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY TRAINED PEOPLE IN UNTRUTHS FOR POWER OR PROFIT?
A,Untruths isn't a word... unless you're speaking Newspeak... Big Brother is watching...
B, 31. ???? 32. PROFIT!!
31. HAVE YOU EVER DEFILED RELIGIOUS PLACES, PERSONS OR OBJECTS?
A, I didn't know what else to do with the basin of holy water... I thought it was a urinal! It wasn't my fault!
B, I hang a cross on my car keys
32. HAVE YOU PRACTICED TERRORISM?
A, Of course, how do you expect to ever get good if you don't practice?
B, BOO!
33. HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT LIKE TO THINK OF YOURSELF AS HAVING DONE?
A, I regret nothing!
B, *shudder* don't even GO there
34. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A COWARD?
"Stonewall" Jackson is my grandfather
35. HAVE YOU EVER TRAPPED A THETAN?
A, Have you ever picked up a thetan?
B, I keep them in my shed
36. HAVE YOU EVER PRIDED YOURSELF ON YOUR WICKEDNESS?
Dude! That's Wicked Sweet
37. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED ARTISTIC PRODUCTIONS OR CREATIONS?
I deleted my favorite piece of porn once
38. HAVE YOU BURNED LITERATURE?
A, No, people need to spread the joy of the horrors I have witnessed!
B, No, I don't include Dianetics as literature
39. HAVE YOU EVER FORBIDDEN PEOPLE TO PRACTICE THEIR OWN CUSTOMS?
Mods? In my games? Its more likely than you think!
40. HAVE YOU EVER PERVERTED A PEOPLE'S CUSTOMS?
A, DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~ DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~DESU~ DESU~
B, I invented the Macarena. But you all brought the Soulja Boy on yourselves. You should all be ashamed.
C, Well this one time, I was going through customs in Holland and... oh you mean THOSE customs...
41. HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING WHICH YOU HOPED WOULD BE WIPED OUT BY THE PASSAGE OF TIME?
A, I need a DeLorean for that.
B, Only fools are enslaved by time and space
42. DO YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED INTO ETERNITY FOR SOMETHING YOU'VE DONE? IF SO, WHAT IS IT?
A, That I didn't tap that girls ass.
B, Causing people to watch "the profit"
43. HAVE YOU EVER EXPOSED INFANTS?
I hate changing diapers
44. HAVE YOU BRED BODIES FOR DEGRADING PURPOSES?
A, well ther was this one biology project in science class...
B, I Made Jesus Yamato
45. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY IF YOU HAD HAD MORE DATA?
I wish I had Data, he is always running off
46. HAVE YOU EVER FORCED BEINGS INTO UNWANTED BODIES?
A, I plea the 5th
B, ITS ALIVE!
47. HAVE YOU DELIBERATELY PREVENTED BEINGS FROM EXTERIORIZING?
With Alcohol and Glycol
48. HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING TO A PERSON, GROUP OR THING THAT WASN'T DESERVED?
Card Crusher once again
49. HAVE YOU EVER DESERTED A JUST CAUSE?
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
50. HAVE YOU EVER DEBASED A NATION'S CURRENCY?
A, I'll assume "defaced"... And yes, check out youfoundthecash.com
B, I turned a penny to gold in science class once
51. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY TORTURED SOMEONE?
A, as opposed to accidentally torturing someone?
B, 99 bottles of beer on the wall.....
52. HAVE YOU EVER ENSLAVED ANOTHER BEING?
Yes... Master...
53. HAVE YOU EVER GAINED OR MAINTAINED A POSITION BY PORTRAY-
Candlejacked!
54. ING YOURSELF AS VICTIMIZED?
wait a minute, hasn't the CoS done this just recently concerning Anonymous?
55. HAVE YOU EVER UNDERMINED A PEOPLE'S TRUST?
Trust No One
56. HAVE YOU DRIVEN ANYONE INSANE?
A, Hey, Hey, Hey, Watch out, Listen, Hey, Look Out!, Would you like to hear what I said again?
B, This is the song that never ends!~
C, Never gonna give you up...
57. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PROFESSIONAL PROSTITUTE?
Do you know any?
58. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A CRIMINAL?
A, I stole an ancient relic once
B, I'll leave that one to DM
59. HAVE YOU EVER TRAINED PEOPLE FOR CRIMINAL PURPOSES?
Wut?
60. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PERVERT?
A, Yes, I'm from the internet... and why is that in past tense?
B, Aren't we all?
61. HAVE YOU EVER RECRUITED ANYONE FOR AN UNWORTHY PURPOSE?
I don't work under Cheney
62. HAVE YOU EVER TRADED IN OTHERS' BODIES FOR PROFIT OR POWER?
A, Woah, Woah, slow down... people will PAY for dead bodies? Where do I sign up?
B, I traded a GI Joe for a Barbie doll once
63. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN A MOCK-UP OR FACSIMILE?
An Idol?
64. HAVE YOU EVER USURPED A LOCATION?
*Burp*
65. HAVE YOU EVER MADE THINGS SCARCE SO THAT YOU MIGHT PROFIT UNFAIRLY?
A, YES YOU MAY HAVE THAT BACON
B, It's called market Manipulation. Great for Primals and Motes.
C, Who do you think I am? OPEC?
66. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A PRACTICE OF CREATING EMERGENCIES?
WAAAAAAAMBULANCE
67. HAVE YOU EVER PRACTICED HUMAN SACRIFICE?
Too messy
68. HAVE YOU EVER ASSUMED A BEINGNESS WHICH WAS NOT RIGHTFULLY YOURS?
It wasn't me!
69. HAVE YOU EVER KILLED THE WRONG PERSON?
A, Never... I never make mistakes
B, I think there was a twin brother once...
C, lol question 69
70. HAVE YOU EVER PUNISHED AN INNOCENT PERSON?
I didn't do SM
71. IS ANYBODY LOOKING FOR YOU?
A, Who?
B, Wait... haven't we already done this one?
72. HAVE YOU EVER SYSTEMATICALLY DEGRADED AN INDIVIDUAL OR POPULATION OR MOCK-UP?
SYSTEMATICALLY DISMANTLE IN ITS PRESENT FORM
73. HAVE YOU EVER UNLAWFULLY OR UNETHICALLY DESERTED A POST?
USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST
74. HAVE YOU BETRAYED SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WHICH DESERVED YOUR HELP?
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?
75. HAVE YOU EVER SET A POOR EXAMPLE?
Do as I say, not as I do.
76. HAVE YOU EVER PERVERTED THE INSTITUTIONS OF A CULTURE FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL POWER OR PROFIT?
DESU~
77. HAVE YOU EVER DENIED YOURSELF?
I like chocolate
78. HAVE YOU EVER BETRAYED YOURSELF?
Double Jeopardy?
79. DID YOU COME TO EARTH FOR EVIL PURPOSES?
A, I come in peace
B, that's a pretty obvious question... LURK MOAR
C, No, but I overstayed my visa for evil purposes
80. HAVE YOU EVER ACTED CONTRARY TO YOUR OWN PRINCIPLES?
I Dunno
81. HAVE YOU EVER FAILED A FRIEND?
"Never gonna give you up!.....
82. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO RENDER OTHERS DEPENDENT ON YOU?
SPICE MUST FLOW
83. HAVE YOU EVER ABUSED THOSE UNDER YOUR PROTECTION?
Take out the hostage so the terrorist can't win
84. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED FARMLAND, CROPS OR BREEDING STOCK?
I've Killed all that with fire
85. HAVE YOU EVER DESPOILED A PLANET OF ITS NATURAL RESOURCES?
I drive a car
86. ARE YOU IN HIDING?
A, Damn It, You found me!
B, I HAVE CAMOUFLAGE
87. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A PLANET OR NATION RADIOACTIVE?
A, Isn't that kinda hard?
B, *Track 30 of Lulz; A corruption of LOL starts playing* um... disregard that one...
C, I'm a slave to big red buttons
88. HAVE YOU EVER WRECKED A CLIMATE?
A, well, if you've been watching the news, we're all contributing
B, I'M FUCKING EXHALING CO2 HERE!
89. HAVE YOU EVER SYSTEMATICALLY SET UP MYSTERIES?
Yes, but those damn kids and their dog always ruin it for me.
90. HAVE YOU EVER MADE NOTHING OF YOURSELF?
I divided by ZERO
91. HAVE YOU MADE,A PROFESSION.OF DESTRUCTION?
I HAVE SEEN THE END AND NO ONE WAS SPARED. NOT EVEN THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN
92. HAVE YOU EVER ENTURBULATED AN ORDERLY ENVIRONMENT?
Boyles Law?
93. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A TRAITOR?
To who?
94. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY LOWERED ANOTHER'S KNOWINGNESS OR ABILITY?
YOU KNOW TOO MUCH
95. HAVE YOU EVER MAIMED AND CRIPPLED OTHER PEOPLE'S BODIES?
I PLAY TEKKEN
96. HAVE YOU EVER PRETENDED TO A POWER YOU DID NOT POSSESS?
A, No, I'm not OT VIII yet
B, I can't fly 
97. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN SHIPS, DRAFT, VESSELS OR VEHICLES BELONGING TO A GOVERNMENT?
A, I do on EVE
B, and on GTA when I can find them
98. HAVE YOU EVER DISAPPEARED?
A, I"M FUCKING HARRY HOUDINI!
B, If I could disappear, do you think I'd be doing this test?
99. HAVE YOU EVER KILLED YOUR OWN BODY?
A, Every day
B, As I speak
C, *plays ANY Linkin Park song*
100. HAVE YOU EVER PRETENDED TO A KNOWINGNESS YOU DID NOT POSSESS?
My Nonsense is free
101. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED A PLANET TO DISAPPEAR?
A, well, due to conservation of matter/energy, nothing can disappear... ever
B, THAT'S NO MOON!
102. HAVE YOU EVER FELT THE ENDS JUSTIFIED THE MEANS?
A, Depends on the ends... and the means... what kind of test IS this anyway?
B, Just as planned
103. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN CAUSE A BAD NAME?
Do you mean Co$?
104. HAVE YOU EVER DISCREDITED THE CREATIONS OF OTHERS?
Your Logic Is Refutable. I have the Support of My Colleagues
105. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OFF POST AT A TIME WHEN YOU WERE DESPERATELY NEEDED?
I always hold my mail when on holiday
106. HAVE YOU EVER CONVINCED ANOTHER THAT HE HAS MOCKED UP AN UNCONFRONTABILITY?
Time Paradox!
107. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY MOCKED UP AN UNCONFRONTABILITY?
A, When a thetan is moved unwillingly from a point or position, he even then refuses to give up that point, but MOCKS IT UP. He also mocks up the events of his departure as a part of the action of mocking up the point he is leaving. This, unwittingly, gives him a picture, an engram. -LRH OTVIII
B, The Cake Is A Lie
108. HAVE YOU MADE A PRACTICE OF CONFUSING PEOPLE?
A, Again with the past tense. Gods you people are stupid.
B, Have YOU?
C, It comes with Aspergers
109. HAVE YOU PERVERTED HISTORICAL TRUTHS FOR ANY REASON?
A, I don't pervert them, I rewrite them!
B, Not since I was Emperor of Germany... those were the days
C, Hitler Had parkinsons (its actually true)
110. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY SENT SOMEONE TO THE WRONG PLACE, OR THE WRONG PERSON?
LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!
111. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PROFESSIONAL SPY OR INTELLIGENCE AGENT?
A, well you're missing the whole point... this place needs more intelligence
B, They've given me a number
But they've taken 'way my name
112. HAVE YOU MADE A PRACTICE OF WORRYING PEOPLE?
IT'S CALLED STRESS!
113. HAVE YOU CONSISTENTLY PRACTICED SEX IN SOME UNNATURAL FASHION?
A, It's not my fault they forgot the safe-word.
B, I can't describe it, but you'll know once you see it
114. HAVE YOU EVER DEMONSTRATED THAT CONTROL IS IMPOSSIBLE?
I LOVE CRUISE CONTROL!
115. HAVE YOU EVER WRECKED A VEHICLE OR VESSEL?
Yeah, and I'm glad I switched to State Farm, President Palmer sure gives nice discounts and accident forgiveness!
116. HAVE YOU EVER PRETENDED TO RE DEAD?
A, Yes, but the Andersons always overstay their welcome.
B, I'LL BE BAAAAAK
117. WHAT QUESTION SHOULD BE ON THIS CHECK FOR OTHERS?
A, ok... How long is Longcat? (leave lots of space for the answer)
B, WHAT IS DIVISIBLE BY ZERO?
118. HAVE YOU EVER CONVINCED ANOTHER OF THE INJUSTICE OF HIS CAUSE?
OBJECTION!!
119. HAVE YOU EVER PHILOSOPHIZED WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE ACTED INSTEAD?
HIS WORDS ARE WISE. HIS FACE IS BEARD.
120. HAVE YOU EVER CLAIMED IT HARMED YOU TO DO SOMETHING?
A, Well I was fapping it for a WHOLE WEEK. That's not a "claim" that it hurt, it's a fact!
B, Its my party, and I can cry if I want to
121. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY DISFIGURED ANOTHER'S BODY?
A, Yes, but it's not a big deal. Some people just like candle wax a nipple razors.
B, I make Garage kits, I just don't like stock models.
122. HAVE YOU EVER TORN OUT SOMEONE'S TONGUE?
A, No, of course not! We have machines for that sort of thing.
B, All the time in IRAN!
123. HAVE YOU EVER BLINDED ANYONE?
A, I didn't know that linked to goatse, I swear!
B, THE GOGGLES! ZHEY DO NOTHING!
124. HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED ANOTHER'S HEARING?
A, Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you dooooown
B, http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...37045703&hl=en
125. HAVE YOU EVER KNOCKED SOMEONE'S TEETH OUT?
A, It's not like they can give a gummer if their teeth are still in.
B, Tongue Studs do that.
126. HAVE YOU EVER PUNISHED ANOTHER BY CUTTING OFF SOME PART OF HIS BODY?
A, Cutting off? no. Forcing them to change genders? yes.
B, Yeah, They needed to shave their head. A bet is a bet.
127. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PARASITE?
A, I'm in your intestinez, eatin' your foodz
B, OM NOM NOM NOM NOM
128. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SWORN OFF BEING?
A, I wasn't a furry dammit! I didn't KNOW that was a squirrel costume!
B, A Pirate Ninja
129. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SWORN OFF DOING?
A, Sexxing up Tom Selleck. He is just to much man for anyone to handle safely
B, Not drinking enough Coca-Cola! (100% more thetans and enturbulating fizzyness)
130. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SWORN OFF HAVING?
A, AIDS. I won't be having the AIDS.
B, I swear its for the pain, the weeds legit, wanna see my card?
131. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN A DEGRADED OR DEBASED EXAMPLE OF DIVINITY?
A, shemale Jesus. Lulz.
B, Nothing is Sacred
132. HAVE YOU EVER PERVERTED A COMMUNICATION SYSTEM?
A, You can't pervert that which is already perverted. It would be like killing something that's already dead. The internet had all this loli and furry porn LONG before I was ever here.
B, HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN? ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
133. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A PROFESSIONAL CRITIC?
Mark Bunker is my idol
134. HAVE YOU EVER HELD OTHERS IN PAWN FOR PROFIT?
Well, he needed 20 bucks for cake, I still have yet to see that cake
135. HAVE YOU EVER PRESUMED ON THE NATURAL GOODNESS OF ANOTHER?
Nyoron~!
136. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED ANOTHER TO MISTRUST YOU?
I will never run around and desert you!
137. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A BURDEN OF YOURSELF?
Yeah, its called riding a taxi
138. HAVE YOU EVER GONE CRAZY?
A, You seem to be using the past tense again.
B, Oh absolutely
C, Do You expect me to talk?
139. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO PERSUADE ANOTHER OF YOUR INSANITY?
A, I don't have to do any persuading.
B, So if I AM crazy and I answer no to the previous question I get to answer no to this? But if I'm telling the truth and I'm crazy then this MUST be a yes.
C, No Mr. Bond, I expect you to DIE!
140. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY MUTILATED BODIES?
I had to sew a button back on to my teddy bears eye
141. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY MUTILATED OBJECTS?
A, That plastic fern had it coming.
B, I'M A FUCKING BULL IN A CHINA SHOP!
142. HAVE YOU HEIGHTENED SEXUAL SENSATION BY INFLICTING PAIN?
A, Google tip: Pain Series
B, IT GOES WHERE?
143. HAVE YOU EVER, CAUSED SOMETHING TO APPEAR AT AN UNEXPECTED TIME?
A, Note: never take viagra before a funeral.
B, Oh look, A Feather!
144. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED SOMETHING TO APPEAR IN AN UNEXPECTED PLACE?
A, How would I know?
B, NOW you're thinking with portals!
145. HAVE YOU EVER MALTREATED A PREGNANT WOMAN OR PREGNANT ANIMAL?
I EAT BABIES
146. HAVE YOU EVER CORRUPTED A CHILD?
A, Again, we're from the internet, we make a point of it
B, It happens all the time
147. HAVE YOU EVER SOUGHT TO CONVINCE OTHERS OF THEIR GUILT?
I just listen, I'm not a priest at confession
148. HAVE YOU EVER STARTED A WAR?
A, "Oh, 'Global Thermonuclear War?' That sounds like a fun game!" Knew I should have played chess.
B, I have caused many a shitstorm
149. HAVE YOU EVER CAUSED YOUR OWN SIDE TO LOSE?
YOU LOSE THE GAME
150. HAVE YOU EVER DELIBERATELY DISTORTED OTHERS' IDEAS?
A, Is that a rhetorical question?
(rest continued on next post)
Okay, long list... the guy I got the document from had answered a lot of the questions already, but a fresh start would be good.
I'll update this and make it my personal project until we're mostly bored or done with it.
(I have no idea what SEC is, might have something to do with weather your thetan was evil in a past life)
I also have no idea about at what level of OT or clear you get this document,
or for that matter if we're allowed to post it. (however it contains no big secrets so I'm fairly sure they won't waste more resources on it)